can a person change the tides?

The middle of the day is the longest part for me. It's when I have "8 for nothing" if I have one at all, and it's when I get sleepy; usually scanning social networking sites until I pass out. Today I should be making sure I'm going to graduate, solidifying casting and choreography, or even folding my laundry. But instead I'm blogging and listening to All Time Low. Typical.

Take a breathe, don't sound so easy? Never had a doubt now I'm going crazy.

There are some phrases that burn right through the thickest clots in my bloodstream. There are certain notes that I think I've lived out before they were even applied to these words. "In a matter of minutes." I like songs about good times, about these epically ordinary roadtrips or nights outside that just lived on forever. "A night like this," or "this night is all we've got." I like that somebody wrote them down so that we could all go back to them whenever we wanted.

This morning I woke up in a very foggy rememberance of what had gone on in the previous hours. My only clues were the soreness in my ribs, the smeared eyeliner, and worry in my eyebrows. I had fallen asleep with The Book and a pen in my left hand, my cell phone under my pillow, and an open water bottle next to me. I was missing a sock and Andre's hoodie was on the floor. Resorting to routine I snapped headphones on my head and pressed play before sitting up at all. I struggled to identify the voice in my ears; I knew this song, this intonation was specific to me. The song was old to my memory and quite uncommonly I could neither grasp a band boy's face nor an outfit I'd worn in this tune's presence. I pushed my legs over the side of the bed, for they needed help this morning, and slid down to put both feet on the ground. And it hit me. Find it in you. I once dropped a box of firework snaps on a sidewalk as a child, and that spitfire sound came back to me now as a thousand images and outfits and songs and glances and moments..and nights...sparked to the front of my brain all at once. "She said let's change our luck."

Sometimes when one is lost it is best to go back to the very beginning. Look around, see how you saw it in the first place, remember why you didn't doubt it back then. And then I find, that the combination of the right song and a little imagination is enough to put 2 and 2 together and get by for at least another 3 and half minutes. "I believe it. Do you?"



...Ricky.
"Six Feet Under the Stars" by: All Time Low