[ fierce bitches.* ]

Friday afternoon I was sitting on a couch around the corner from Hot Topic in Roosevelt Field mall. I was waiting for a friend but, Jeffree Star got there first. Cheers, thrills, and shrills, came rising up out of the already brilliant line of his fans. The last time I saw that much glitter in one place I was going for gold at Dance Explosion All-States.

Connections are everything, dahling.

This Condition met the lovely JStar this summer at Warped Tour. Ask them for stories, I'm definitely not at liberty to repeat. With those experiences in the bag, the dauntless Stevie Keyes strolled up to Madame Star's bus and I dunno, just shot the breeze with the likes I suppose. When I met up with him inside, he handed over one free wristband from Miss Star and told me to do with it what I like. Now, I was honestly going to sell it. 5 bucks? 10? But a good pair of friends of mine convinced me otherwise. I was having a bad afternoon. I was standing sideline of this pinked out event still ditched and not having fun. So why not kick up a little glitter by my own standards? Let me tell you, I could not have done it without MeganDHTBA and JJ [fierce bitches.*]

*note: in return for taking in an orphaned outfit and making a diva out of me, Megan and JJ will from now on be proceeded by the applicable term "fierce bitches."

SO.
Where was I?
Oh right, Megan and JJ [fierce bitches.*]...

...let me stand in line with them. Why not use a free wristband? Why not get right in the action and report to my readers as a eye witness? There was only onee tiny problem.

I don't do well when meeting celebrities.

Pro athletes at the game, one thing. The Maine over a series of days, ok. Nate Smith one-on-one convo, not so much. Jeffree Star without Cyph? Oh hell no. I was mostly fine until we turned the corner and could actually see the front of Hot Topic. What am I doing? Is this really necessary? Do I have to talk? No, JJ [fierce bitch*] you just talk. NO! I AM NOT going to say I know Nathen! Wait. Is it he or she? NO! Megan [fierce bitch*] you CANNOT ask her. Him. Her?!?!

I was panicked. They were stressed. I was also almost awed to tears when Megan and JJ [fierce bitches*] said I could be in their picture with Jeffree. This Condition has the best and sweetest fans in the whole wide world. And space too. And, whatever is beyond space. The three of us watched as glam-ateers and chroma babies came out one after another with the same adoring face clenching their new most prized possession; an autographed Jeffree Star poster. We smiled at their cuteness. I marveled at their honesties. Then it was our turn to go in. And I choked on my own spit.

Yes, we got all got an autograph. We got a picture too. The celebrity was extremely chill and nice. But all you really need to know is that Jeffree Star is everything he promises to be. He's pretty much everything I wish I could promise to be, but am not so poignant in proving it. Jeffree has dyed hair, painted makeup, graffitied skin and a posed fierce identity. And people hate him for all of it. Yet the appeal to me lies immediately in the fact that he is so completely invented. That in all the fakeness, Miss Jeffree Star is one of the most real things I have ever witnessed kids screaming over. They love the opportunity to relate. Whether they actually do or not is another story. I am a sold fan to the About Me on the Jeffree Star myspace. I'm an even bigger fan of the strength it takes to be that bold and brash every single day. Plus.....you wishh you could pull off hair like that. Miss Jeffree Fucking Star.






...Ricky.
"Prisoner" by:...I mean, obviously.