one lost song that found me forever ago

I promised a singer the observations of his last week's show would be posted by now, but sometimes, it's okay to make a rock star wait.

It's hard for me to say how I got this way, because I've always been just this. Maybe a little poorer dressed, maybe a little less acquainted with tough love. But all the while, through poor decisions and worse styles, being me has gotten me through. It's done me alright at the end of the day. Sure maybe I'd like to be nicer, skinnier, less vulgar. But I really can't say another person that I'd want to be. And that just doesn't make some people very happy at all.

As I write this I am having one of those surreal late night conversations, one that you'd find cliche in a movie but that you cannot believe is actually happening to you right now. The kind when you think, did I let it get to this?

Tomorrow morning I will wake up like this never happened. And slowly as my toes and shoulders wake up so will my recollection of the night before. And my chest will ask me to crawl back under the covers. But scene girls don't hide. They don't miss shows because they feel awkward, or stay behind the line because they are hurt. You're thinking of emo girls. Scene girls do their hair and know that while they might not have it all, they've sure got something. And something's worth one more song.

I am a scene girl. I've always been just this. I am an artist and a friend, an optimist and a thinker. I am a writer and I will write what I want. I understand you although you may think I am crazy. I think you may be right. But blame me, not the words. The words are just a thousand immortalizations of a group of waiting rock stars.





...Ricky.