yes to your Question #2...

I was thinking again about the Taco Bell parking lot the night of Jason Aron's and the semi-circle of sufficiently talented band boys that were vying for my smile. I was thinking, giggling really, not so much hearing what they were saying to me but rather, hearing their choruses and recalling all the places they've been. I was giggling at how they were back here with me for this one night, and unbeknownst to them, it was that that gave them the smile they were looking for, not the 'hey babys.' Lol DML.

I was talking to a Stereo on aim; the version of him that I know but that few people have even believed exists. He IS cocky, and as a Jac Vanek bracelet reads from his wrist, a 'ruthless' business man. But I stubbornly keep looking for more. The Stereo they know thinks he's entitled to this success...but the one I talk to says this is all so surreal to him. Their Stereo doesn't care or remember where he came from...but he spoke to me of where we where a year ago together and how back then he would've talked big, but never really believed he'd be playing arenas in 2009. I told him he had always had me convinced. The Mr. Stereo they talk about constantly would trash them right back...but when I got upset and called them all nothing but dirty Long Island scene boys filled with bitterness, the Stereo pulled me back and said, "hey now, I was one of them."

I think jealously is too common a word for the disconnect between musicians who are on their way and ones that are still working for a break. I think that people diss loyalty trying to hold onto their dreams and others mouth off because it's the best vent for bitterness. I can't really blame either side. I think whether I'm right or not I will always see that Stereo differently, based solely on the fact that I've stayed quiet enough to listen on occasion. A bird watcher doesn't scream at the birds until they look the way she wants them to, she sees them how they already are and then may do with her findings whatever she wants.

I was thinking about how attractive this one kid is, and how another is almost smooth when he's keeping his mouth shut. How one is borderline prophetic and how it turns out these ones can actually write. I was thinking about how that kid is frickin crazy and how this one goes and gets whatever he wants. I'm thinking about this one's stage show, this one's blatant skill, and this one's scene hair. And then in one distinct instant I am thinking about that Taco Bell parking lot the night of Jason Aron's and the semi-circle I stood center of attention in. And I realize, they're all just boys. And boys are sufficiently manageable.





....Ricky.
new Bride Wore Black songs that you can't hear and I'm not supposed to have.